Life Experiences

Fear of driving, is one of the reasons why I was a bit unhappy living in the U.S. I tried hard to learn how to drive, but I guess some individuals are just not capable of learning the skills of driving. I went to two driving schools in the Philippines few years ago, with no success and my fear of driving even got worse. The culprit might be the instructor’s way of teaching who just hands you the key and said “okay, do it, drive” without any details, but I could also blame it to the crazy drivers on the street and bad traffic situations. There are also no decent roads to learn to drive. When you are already scared, and you are told to drive in a chaotic street, the whole situation becomes too nerve-wracking and not suited for a faint of heart like me. In other words, I have no guts and the saying goes “no guts, no glory”.

My third try was in the US in 2004, when we went back to live there for several years. My husband was my driving instructor. Our driving lessons always started with full of anticipations and ends with animosity. I always heard some advice from other wives not to let your husband teach you how to drive and I believe it now. After he yelled at me for not understanding his instructions, he could not make me get into that driver seat ever again.  I knew then that I had to get used to riding the bus for a long time.

Eventually, I did end up using public buses as my transportation every time I would go to the mall and ran errands. I even rode buses to work especially when hubby won’t be home on time to drive me to work. Although moving closer to the hospital where I worked as a nurse made my commute a lot easier, or I had to take two to three bus rides to work if we didn’t move. There were a few instances though that the bus didn’t arrive on time and I got panicked. I didn’t want to be late to work. I hated the distraught look of coworkers give you when you’re late, though some won’t say anything still I didn’t want being perceived as irresponsible and inconsiderate.  

Commuting in a public bus was not that bad, except when the weather conditions were extreme. Actually, when I was new in the country I like to ride the bus going to the mall because I enjoy looking around and getting familiarized with the new environment.

I remember the very first time I rode the bus. I was so nervous. I was going to meet hubby after work and then we were going to have a dinner and stroll around downtown Palm Springs afterwards. It was Spring break and there were lots of nice things to see around town. I was hesitant to venture on my own at first but when my hubby said that after dark people would start doing crazy things, my curiosity got me to agree. That was during the time when cellphones were only for the rich businessmen. My thought was if I get lost I won’t be able to find my way back home. So I was so careful, when the bus finally arrived I sat near the driver and explained to him my situation. I handed him the paper where my hubby sketched a little map of where should I get off and how to get to his work. The driver seemed amused at my nervousness. I was probably looking like someone who just got off the boat. Then he snickered and suddenly started talking to me in Filipino. He said, "pretty lady you could get in trouble here. I can protect you, write your name and phone number here". I didn’t want to disappoint him so I wrote my name and a fictitious phone number. When I finally got off the bus and found my husband’s whereabouts I let out a big sigh of relief.

I still wonder what the driver had in mind though, I’m guessing that he probably didn’t believe that I was going to meet hubby at Holiday Inn Hotel in Palm Springs where he worked at that time.

Anyway, going to work in a public transport is another story. I felt embarrassed and was mindful not to be seen by my coworkers. One coworker I confided was shocked, “you would look like a poor person and it’s not safe”, she said.  I didn’t really mind who’s riding the bus as long as everyone behaves appropriately. I was usually careful not to sit beside a homeless guy who hasn’t taken a shower since who knows when or near drug addict looking guy. So far, I didn’t encounter any problem. The bus drivers were also good in making passengers obey the bus rules, like one time there was an agitated drunk man making a lot of noise, the bus driver stopped the bus and let the guy get off the bus, and it was as simple as that. There is also a camera in the bus, to monitor commuters.

My lack of ability to drive didn’t stop me from living my life in the U.S. Though it somewhat made my life a little bit restricted. I grew up in a country where it’s easy to get around, wherever you want to go there is always an easy and quick way to get to your destination. When I moved to the states I felt somewhat trapped. Though there are towns or cities in the US where you can get around easily even without having a car, the places where we used to live were fairly spread out and a car is a must especially on winter and summer months.

However, this life experiences gave me the chance to mingle with people from all walks of life and opened my eyes to see the other side of America. I realized that life in the land of milk and honey is not all comfort and glamour as you see them in magazines and not everyone riding public transportation is a failure in life either.