A Long Lost Friend

My college life was full of fun and happy memories. I made many friends and one of them became really special to me, her name was Mary. Mary and I were best of friends and almost like sisters. For four years we’re always there for each other not only during happy times but on sad times as well.  I treasured our friendship so much that I even wrote a poem for her. After our graduation, we went on our separate ways. We hugged and cried but before we said goodbye we promised each other that one day we will meet again. I had to move to another town, while she stayed.

The separation was hard for me I cried almost every night for a week. Though we wrote each other a letter once in a while, I still missed her presence. I had a hard time adjusting in a new town especially in making new friends; probably because I kept comparing her to the new friends I met along the way. Meanwhile, I heard some news from a mutual friend that she moved away because of a family crisis. Something happened to her family that cause them to feel humiliated and decided to leave town to start a new life. I wrote her a letter expressing my concern and she replied but her words were not the words I expected to hear. Mary wrote “I am not worthy to be your friend anymore, just forget that we were once friends!” I was shocked; I really didn’t understand why she felt that way because our friendship was totally a separate thing from her family issue.  I replied back, “we made mistakes because we are not perfect and no one is, except God. What matters most is I care for you as a friend and I will pray for you to get through these trying times.” She didn’t reply and I never heard from her again.

Through the years I still think of her and wondering what happened to her. So when social networks became popular like friendster, myspace and facebook I started searching for her online. Just recently, I found her on facebook. She had just opened an account, I was so excited. I clicked her profile picture to make sure it was really her, then right away I sent a message to her inbox and invited her to be my friend, but I guess her decision twenty-five years ago was already final. I got rejected on my friend request and I didn’t get any reply on my message. I felt sad, I thought after all those years she would have a change of heart, but I was wrong. Whatever she went through in the past, she has the right to choose a way to heal her pain if dumping me was part of the healing process so be it. I would never be mad at her or hurt by her decision. Mary was there for me when I needed a good friend. She did a good job as my best friend for four years and that was enough for me.  She was there for me when I needed her the most.

Mary left foot prints in my heart for sure but her role in my life was done a long time ago... so it’s time to move on!

photo credit:  morgueFile

What’s with all the Excitement?

We have a new shopping mall in town that had opened a week ago. I finally decided to check it out today after my husband’s constant insistence. He suggested I should go there around opening day to partake in a milestone event or I will cease to be a patriotic denizen of my town. I felt guilty. So I had to end my hibernation and left my four walls to see what’s out there in the real world.

On the opening day of Abreeza, (name of the new mall) everyone went out to witness the much awaited launching of the newest, biggest and most modern mall in town. I was stubborn; I wanted to wait for a few more days before I stuck my nose out and hoped the crowd would thin down by then. Today my husband said that I waited long enough and had persuaded me to go out and see the new mall, so I went and checked the place out. It is indeed impressive and grand, a three storey building with a huge department store and supermarket and has hundreds of shops that sell local and imported brands, restaurants, coffee shops, movie theaters, a fast food place overlooking the view of the city and so on, but its actually not quite finished yet. Many store spaces are still closed and have “opening soon” signs. The air at the mall still smells of paint and had given me a headache after fifteen minutes of being there. So I didn’t stay very long. I was glad to see the newest mall though. Now when everyone is talking about it I won’t be at loss, but I will wait for few more months before I’ll go back there again when it is completely done.   

My hometown (Davao City) is really progressing, I can still remember the old times when we only had department stores to shop in and a few good restaurants to choose from. Life was so simple way back then. Our first real mall came in the 90’s, everyone was so excited about it. To date, we have six big malls all over town including Abreeza. Next year, another new mall will rise. The rumor is that this will be even bigger than Abreeza. What really excites me is that these two new malls are so close to where I live so I don’t have to travel a long way when I need to shop or stroll. 

Now the locals and people living in nearby towns have many nice places to socialize and to do their shopping. I love progress, though progress always have some consequences in return, such as heavy traffic, pollution, increase in crime rate, over population, to name a few. Although I am confident that our local government will take care of that eventualities as they always do. As of now, I am happy and proud of my hometown’s new accomplishment. We have come a long way, Congratulations dabawenyos!!!

Good Luck and Bye for Now

I got a text from my sister yesterday informing me that my niece will be leaving for Manila early next day. She is bound for Saudi to work as a nurse there. The news was not unexpected; I just didn’t expect that she will be leaving that soon. I was still going to see her on the weekend, but now all I can do is to send her a text wishing her well and the best of luck on her new journey. I have another niece who has been working as a nurse in Saudi Arabia for a year now and probably early next year another niece will be leaving to U.S. to join her husband who works as a nurse there.

Ironically, now that I am back here in the country, it seems that everyone is leaving. Well, I can’t blame them, for some time now; Filipinos have been leaving the country to seek greener pastures on foreign shores. Our government is not doing enough to provide opportunities for our people here. The new nursing graduates faces uncertainty towards their future because of oversupply of nurses nowadays. Opportunities are getting scarce and hard to find, jobs abroad are now stiffer in their requirements. You have to have at least two years experience to apply for a nursing job abroad, other countries requires you to take more years of schooling in nursing before you can qualify to work as a nurse in their country. My two nieces were lucky enough, as new grads, they were able to find a nursing job overseas though it’s in the Middle East which is not their first choice, it is still a good opportunity to gain some experiences and use it as a stepping stone towards their goal. During these hard times you need to take advantage of whatever opportunities come your way. My advice to them, take charge of your future, your dreams are within your grasp now, take advantage and reach for it.

So, to my nieces out there, good luck, be happy, stay safe and bye for now. Someday soon we’ll see each other again. Take care always! I will miss you for sure!

P.S.

I wrote this article 2 years ago for my friendster blog. To update, one of my nieces is now back home, while the other is now working in Canada. 

My Home Grown Tomatoes

I finally harvested a few ripe tomatoes in my garden. It was amazing because I didn’t even follow any basic principles on how to grow them, no soil testing, no fertilizer, no pesticides, etc. I sometimes I even forgot to water it. I was not really expecting much from it considering every time I planted tomatoes they tend to die as soon as it starts to blossoms. 


This time I experimented squeezing an over ripe tomato (instead of using the dried tomato seeds I bought at the store) directly on the ground. Then after few weeks or so I observed some small plants started to sprout, then they keep growing I thought they would die soon though. I did not even bother to transplant them so they would have a good spacing or bother to build  a trellis or stakes. I found this wirerack at the back of the yard and put it near the plant when it became obvious to need some support. "Don’t get excited", I thought because soon flowers will be falling one by one but to my surprised it didn’t.

The beautiful yellow flowers slowly turned into little green tomatoes and there were a lot of them. The tomato plants bent down because it could no longer sustain the weight of the tomatoes. The wire rack was not tall enough to hold the plants. Floods came and went my tomato plants still survive. I didn’t know that it would be so easy to grow tomato, now I am wondering why they are so expensive in the market.

  

Where is Ann?

I have been struggling to find time blogging lately. Home chores seem to never end and when finally it did I am already too tired to write down thoughts. Where is Ann?  I am starting to miss her. Ann is our former house helper. We have a saying in the house “where is Ann when we need her?” this phrase comes up when house chores becomes overwhelming at times. When Ann left two years ago, my husband told me to find a replacement.  I thought during this economic tough times we should try without a maid. Now I slowly regret that decision. Having an extra help at home would be nice especially when you are trying to achieve something important. In my case, I want to learn creative writing and computer programming. Time spent on scrubbing pots and pans, mopping floors, doing laundry and so on could be used in developing those skills.

Ann was barely nineteen when she started working for us. She was a good girl and a conscientious worker.  She may not be the best helper we had but I can say for certain she is someone that is very trustworthy. I hired Ann during the time I went to nursing school when I needed someone that I can trust to take care of my then grade school son’s needs while I was staying late at the hospital doing rotations. Everything went smoothly, I didn’t have to worry about my son because Ann was a responsible house helper and nanny. We had other maids before but I remember her in particular because she worked for us the longest. Actually we already considered her as a family member. She was always included in our outings, eat outs and trips. So when she left there was a feeling of loss.    

She was approaching mid twenties when we started to notice she lost her jovial vibe. Oftentimes she was quiet and in deep thought. I had a feeling she was starting to worry about her future. One time she told me that she feels frustrated about life, about why some people are poor and some are rich. Her family is so poor that every time her mom or dad gets sick the money she saved up for months will just go to the hospital bill. I told her to find her destiny, if you don’t want to be poor forever; you need to do something about the future. Plan and learn a skill to better off in the future. Don’t settle for less, dream big and reach for it. I told her if she’ll encounter a better opportunity along the way, its okay if she leaves us.

However if she prefers to stay with us then she should go to school at night or on a weekend, “we will support you”, my husband and I told her. I even taught her how to use the computer so she won’t feel way behind in this age of technology. I have no doubt of her being smart because she learned quickly. When finally she decided to quit her job with us, we told her good luck, and then she left. We have not seen her since then. Later on I’ve learned she found another job. It was not a life changing job but a few steps better than a maid, a job where she can socialize with people her age.

I observed when a woman finally gets free from bondage of being a maid; she would put that past experience quickly behind her. Having worked as a maid put a stigma on a person’s pride. Though others are happy to have a maid job, most women are just forced because that is the only solution to a present situation in life. So a former maid though how much she appreciates you for being a good employer you are part of her bitter past that she wants to erase in her memory. So when she finally resolves her financial conflict and tells you goodbye, don’t expect her to show up at your doorstep ever again.

For the meantime while I am not able to find someone to replace Ann, I will just have to learn how to multi-task house chores or probably demand that the two guys here in the house share responsibilities.