Why Do Men Cheat?

Nowadays, women are reexamining their spouse’s faithfulness more often than not. Even if wives trust their husbands, there are moments when thought of “what if” would comes to mind, especially when we are continuously catered with some juicy news on TV and internet of well known politicians and famous celebrities, being caught cheating on their marriage and later on shamelessly admit to having extra-marital affairs, thanks to Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger to name a few.

We all know that infidelity in marriage is not just a confined to the rich and famous. In fact a lot of regular couples are also experiencing the same dilemma. We often hear whispers about someone’s illicit affairs among the loyal bystanders of the neighborhood corner stores and at work especially if the cheater is not too discreet. If you are not a gossip type of person, occasionally a friend or a relative will confide in you about her husband’s infidelity as well. One time I was taken aback when a co-worker asked me to spy on her husband’s mistress when she found out that I live close to her residence.  

Why do men cheat?

•   Driven by desire for sexual adventure
•  An affair can break the monotony of a contented, though ordinary, life of work, home,  wife and kids
•  If there are difficulties in the marriage, an affair offers a realm in which there is an absence     of conflict and a new sense of control
•   Fall in love with another person who is not his wife
•   Some men believe having extra-marital affair is acceptable

The prime times in marriage to watch out for infidelity according to Women’s Encyclopedia of Health and Emotional Healing:

When you are newlyweds – once the honeymoon is over, some couples are shocked by the demands of partnership. They thought the high level of romance will continue indefinitely and are not prepared to deal with the realities of sharing and compromising, says Dr. Slater.

When you become parents – sexual interest usually decreases for women for the year after giving birth simply because they are exhausted most of the time. The wife often becomes focused on the baby to the extent that the husband can feel left out. It’s not uncommon for him to try to balance that by finding someone else who will focus exclusively on him.

When you are in your thirties – raising families, advancing your career and the everyday demands on your of life usually starts taking their toll when your thirty something. An affair can be a nice diversion.

When you face middle age – there are all those issues at midlife of aging and achievement. You may feel stuck in your life and begin to reevaluate what you’ve accomplished and more important, what you haven’t. An affair often seems like it can offer a new beginning.

When you’ve experienced a tragedy – after a death of a parent or a serious illness of a child, for example, people may have an affair to forget- or at least try. It’s a fantasy, almost like a vacation from despair.

Some of the signs to look for in a man who might be cheating:

• Having a lot of unexpected or sudden events, overtime or appointments
               
  Lack of affection or suddenly showering you with gifts (may be a sign of guilt)
                      
  Doesn't include you in his world as he used to
                      
  Conveniently unreachable when his away
           
  Sexual behavior and habits starts to change 
                
  Hiding the cell phone or putting it on vibrate/sleeping with it.
                
  Increase amount in cell phone bill, unfamiliar phone number popping up
  
  
  Strange phone calls but he hangs up when you’re near 
               
  Always comes home late
               
  Not being where he is supposed to be, like at work/gym/with friends
               
  Finding items in the car/trunk that's not yours or his
              
  Paying extra attention in self-hygiene and appearance
               
  Unexplained credit card charges or expenses
  
  
  
  

Don’t jump to conclusions. Make sure he is really cheating before making a confrontation because if you are accusing him wrongly it could damage your marriage as far as trust is concerned.