Oily Skin

Today's curse; tomorrow's blessing!

When my son turned 13, I started noticing a series of physical changes. One of them was his young, smooth and healthy looking skin slowly turning oily. As time passed the oiliness was getting worse and acne started to emerge. My first reaction was a panicked, “oh no, not my son!” I was hoping, as my son grows up, that he will not become the next victim of this genetic curse. That he will grow up enjoying a healthy looking skin.

Oily skin is in my genes, everyone in my family had it. Oily skin compounded with acne problems to boot. I had been battling oily skin and acne since my teenage years and even in my adult life. I still have some of the ugly acne scars as proof. 

So the next available day I had, I went straight to the pharmacy checking every product available for treating acne. There are a lot to choose from and it was confusing what to buy. Some of them were familiar, I had tried them on my acne before and they didn’t work, but I was hoping something would work on my son’s skin.  So I bought the most expensive brand of acne facial cleanser and an acne gel that is supposed to help heal and dry acne. Over-the-counter acne treatments are generally mild and contain: benzoyl peroxide, sulfur, resorcinol, salicylic acid or lactic acid as their active ingredient. Although they help clear acne, their results are not long-term. My son’s skin eventually developed bacterial resistance to the treatment and it was not as effective as it used to. Along the way, I switched brands of acne products and rotated their usage. This routine became frustrating and costly and eventually my son got tired of using them.

Another option was to see a dermatologist, but I’ve been there and done that also. The dermatologist will prescribe oral antibiotics and a topical gel.  The medication works wonders but only temporarily. Once you stop taking the antibiotics, your acne will soon return with a vengeance. Another thing to watch out for are the side effects of the antibiotics that you have to deal with.

When kids reach puberty, certain hormones are activated. This hormonal surge can stimulate the sebaceous glands, resulting in more sebum and hence, oily skin. When you have oily skin, you are prone to acne as well. Unfortunately, there is no magic cure for oily skin. Teenagers will have to learn how to live with oily skin for the time being. I know how frustrating it can be to have a whole new set of problems in your already complicated teen life.

The best you can do is to always keep your skin clean. When washing your face, try using a mild soap and follow it up with an astringent for oily skin. Use warm water in the rinsing of your face. Warm water is a better solvent than cold water and this helps in removing the grime from your skin.

On the upside; according to The Doctors Book of Home Remedies, a person who has an oily skin tends to age better and wrinkle less than a person who has a dry or normal skin.Yay!!! =)

How to Help Your Teenager Deal with Failure

Every year my son's school is having a beauty pageant; it is called MR. and MS. P.T. (Physical Therapy). One of the male contestants backed out on the last minute. The organizers were begging my son to fill in the vacant slot. After thinking about it, he decided he wanted to be in it and win the title this time. Two years ago, he joined the said competition and landed the prize of first runner up. He got disappointed, but since it was his first time and didn’t know what to expect, he got over with his disappointment quickly. This year would be his second time to join. "I am going to win the title this time, he said with confidence and great determination."

Last night, few minutes after the competition was over, he sent me a text, “I didn’t win, and I’m first runner up again". I know he was disappointed. He really put out a lot of energy in preparation a day before the competition. I congratulated him and told him, it is okay, you did your best. I asked him if he enjoyed the experience. He replied “yes”. Then I said well, “that's all that matters then”. I didn't know if those words had given him some comfort. So I did some research to reassure myself.

According to some experts, it is okay for teen-agers to be able to experience failure, disappointment, loneliness, grief and sadness. As parents, we may let them know we are around when needed, but we should not attempt to rescue them from their misery in the name of self-esteem. This way, teenagers will understand the depth of their resourcefulness and resilience when difficult situations arise in the future. Your quiet support strengthens the connection between you and your teen. It will send a message that I will not abandon you and you can handle this situation.

It is best if your teen will have these experiences while they are still living at home because you will be around to see them through these tough times. So, when they're older and living on their own, they have those understandings to fall back on. The last thing a parent wants is for their teen to leave home never having experienced emotional setback in their life. We would like our kids to learn from their failures so they know how to deal with the inevitable when we are not around them anymore.

Let them build their self-esteem.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”  They may be scarred but well prepared when they face the real world.

Yet after your teenager experiences a setback, it's difficult to remain on the sidelines quietly and expectantly waiting for them to get back into the swing of things. Yes, they need your support, but more than ever they need your honest support and reassurances. This means you must acknowledge reality as you encourage them to move forward. You also want to help them how to learn from their mistakes as they continue to improve.  As parents, our role is to reassure them our love and support.